The anam cara perspective is sublime because it permits us to enter this unity of ancient belonging. Reading it, I couldn't help but feel that it's as appropriate today as it's ever been, that it speaks to more than just marriage but to our relationships with one another on a grander, human scale. As O’Donohue says in this beautiful blessing, “And though the darkness is now deep, you will soon see approaching light.” Many people are addicted to perfection, and in their pursuit of the ideal, they have no patience with vulnerability. (...) Aristotle laid out the philosophical foundation of friendship as the art of holding up a mirror to each other’s souls. Two millennia later, Emerson contemplated its two pillars of truth and tenderness. Another century later, C.S. Lewis wrote: “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

This all makes me want to burst out in song as in Tom Lehrer’s “We Are the Folk Song Army” (folksongs being so closely related to junk poetry) whose memorable lyrics go; Over the last few months I have very much been enjoying the writings and poetry of John O’Donohue. A writer of unique power to me (and many others), John captured a great sense of wonder of the natural world and a deep wisdom and kindness born from a life of studying philosophy and theology. He had also been a Catholic priest for 17 years and left that service to concentrate more on his writings. The beauty of nature insists on taking its time. Everything is prepared. Nothing is rushed. The rhythm of emergence is a gradual slow beat always inching its way forward; change remains faithful to itself until the new unfolds in the full confidence of true arrival. Because nothing is abrupt, the beginning of spring nearly always catches us unawares. It is there before we see it; and then we can look nowhere without seeing it.” But AMM Ministers don’t just marry people. When they choose to, their roles can extend much further, supporting their communities in important ways, and celebrating not just new beginnings, but endings, too. This deserves to be highlighted. We spend a lot of time talking about wedding ceremonies here on the American Weddings blog. This makes sense... Wedding ceremonies (and wedding officiants) are awesome! And they’re our primary focus and passion.A call comes from within to wake up to explore new and unknown territories. Is it exciting? Is it frightening? Is it both exciting and frightening? Every poet would like to write the ideal poem. Though they never achieve this, sometimes it glimmers through their best work. Ironically, the very beyondness of the idea is often the touch of presence that renders the work luminous. The beauty of the ideal awakens a passion and urgency that brings out the best in the person and calls forth the dream of excellence.

They may have hoped that his imagination would wilt somewhat under the sodden weight of careful clerical conversation in the presbytery. It was as if (former All-Ireland club champions) Crossmolina GAA confined the contribution of (star footballer) Ciarán McDonald to carrying the jerseys for their third-string team. John took the brave decision to leave the comfortable clerical zone and strike out on his own. From this decision has flowed a career of sparkling lectures and thought-provoking books. He has an audience that spans a huge range of human experience from ageing nuns to exuberant eco-warriors. O’Donohue borrows Aristotle’s notion of friendship and stretches it to a more expansive understanding:O’Donohue was a contemporary Irish priest, poet, author, and philosopher, who spent much of his life studying Celtic spirituality. His inspired words have brought comfort to many over the years. In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara in the Celtic world was the “soul friend.” In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam cara you could share your inner-most self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul.” The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship. Illustration by Maurice Sendak from Let’s Be Enemies by Janice May Udry O’Donohue’s poem has helped shape my attitude as I entered this stage of my life -- my marriage to my now-husband which happened three weeks ago today -- a threshold to a new beginning, an occasion for a fresh perspective and fresh energy. Recently, I have been enjoying the work of John O’Donohue, who was an Irish writer and poet. My favorite book of his, To Bless the Space Between Us, is a collection of blessings to help readers through struggles and everyday concerns of life. There is something deeply kind and wise about his words, something which is encouraging and inspires hope during times of transition, challenge, new beginnings. Meanwhile, here is a blessing that your work may be guided by your soul. I find this greatly encouraging to me, to keep me on the path of following my heart. Enjoy…Neal x May The Light Of Your Soul Guide You, by John O’Donohue